I'm focusing on the "now", and of course, inevitably, the future. But now is really important because I constantly need to remind myself to slow down and breathe, not to mention the most fleeting part of our lives is "now."In the blink of an eye, how fast it becomes our past.
I know that's not optimistic but constant optimism isn't realistic, but actively trying to think positively seems more doable, and less annoying.
What To Do?
(1) Getting my anxiety under control
I can't move forward until I take care of this. Although it costs $300 to say "Hello" to my psychiatrist, this needs to happen. No one understands how crippling anxiety is until they've had a panic attack because they can't find a parking spot.
Sometimes medication is necessary, and I have to be OK with that.
(2)Educational Goals
Due to a recent epiphany, this part of my life is somewhat looking up. Not knowing what I want to do, and feeling like there's nothing I CAN do is so detrimental to any chance of self motivation. I'm seeing a counselor before the end of March. A business major is a possibility in the near future. (Minor is psych of course) Can't let that go to waste.
(3) Work/Money
Starbucks is flexible with hours and since I've been there 3 years its definitely reliable. I have to be OK with working there for now because it will allow me to be active in my life progress while still working and making money. But I don't want to get too comfortable, I think brainstorming where my next job experience will be is a healthy step. I need more money, I want to make more and save more. Saving is all I can do now, but in small amounts. Ah yes, and no debt please.
(4) Relationship
I can't complain, I know I'm blessed with an uncomplicated, rewarding and healthy relationship. All I can think of for improvement is managing my time and my patience. I need to remember that I need "me" time, and I need to be more patient with him. Although I know he loves me and no matter how I talk to him he always will, but it doesn't mean its right. But that goes back to the underlying problem: anxiety. So, it's in the works.
(5) Friends and F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
The older I get, the more important I realize good, quality friends are. And the best part is, I have them. I also have friends who are just great to be around sometimes, but I know I can't fall back on, which is OK too. I have to remember that I can go to them, I'm utilizing it more often more recently. I have the best friend in the world, and she knows it. But if I tell her that too often, she might get too big headed ;p. I want to be that friend too, the one people want to talk to.
Speaking of "always being there" F.R.I.E.N.D.S.: my crutch when no other is needed or available. Laughing is the best medicine, and this prescription is free. (After the 400$ i spent over the years for all 10 seasons on DVD in it's own collectors box.) Totally worth it.
My Aspiration: to overcome my anxiety, the weight that holds me back from attempting to set and achieve goals and live life to the fullest.
"It's not how hard you hit, It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward."
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