My last post was at the beginning of summer and this post is at the conclusion! Hmm. My goal this summer was to try to keep myself busy so I guess I succeeded. A lot of down time, a first trip to Vegas, Disneyland once or twice and quite a few movie and dinner nights. Not to mention a pretty o.k. tan :)
Back to school this week, with a pretty light load. Considering that this semester I had the MOST resistance I've ever had returning for my 5th year, 2 classes should be just fine.
I'm now insured by myself for the first time! Feeling a little bit more like a grown up. Now I just have to make appointments for the dentist and doctor and what not to feel like the money they are taking out of my paycheck is justified :D
Now I'm just trying to straighten up things and lighten my clutter in my room and closets.
I'll be 22 years old in a month.... scary.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Bundle up, it's Summer!
Summer in California is definitely NOT living up to what was expected. My tan was supposed to be on it's way to perfection right about now! Instead, I have been carrying a sweater with me every day, not being able to step foot on really hot sand in a perfect 76 degree beach setting. What problems i have, I'll tell ya :)
Spring semester is over, and yes, you've guessed it, I opted out of super-fun-awesome-summer classes! I wanted time to compose myself (have fun), gather my thoughts (tan for long hours), make decisions (put off important decisions), and save money (spend money.) So my intentions are good!
Honestly, nothing has moved forward in my life (yes better than backwards) but it's getting frustrating. Time keeps moving forward even though you're not ready for it, CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!? The nerve.
Photo cred: Matthew Duclos
"Facing the truth, is so much easier that all the time and energy it takes to run away form it."
Spring semester is over, and yes, you've guessed it, I opted out of super-fun-awesome-summer classes! I wanted time to compose myself (have fun), gather my thoughts (tan for long hours), make decisions (put off important decisions), and save money (spend money.) So my intentions are good!
Honestly, nothing has moved forward in my life (yes better than backwards) but it's getting frustrating. Time keeps moving forward even though you're not ready for it, CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!? The nerve.
"Facing the truth, is so much easier that all the time and energy it takes to run away form it."
Friday, May 27, 2011
Coming Back
School schedule pretty much diminished since I dropped Statistics, so THAT can't be my excuse for no blogging. Working only 4 days a week... too much for me, but also not a valid excuse for no blogging. I guess just lack of interesting writing material. But Finals are around the corner, less than a week and I've come to the conclusion that I will not be changing my availability until I get really bored with too much free time....
So inevitably, I hope, I will have time to gather my thoughts, and hopefully head in some sort of direction.
So inevitably, I hope, I will have time to gather my thoughts, and hopefully head in some sort of direction.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Limbo
What can I say about right now? Week to week, day to day, my outlooks change because my situations change and, also something inevitable, I change my mind.
So, I'm stuck at my job because I failed to get the Marriott job I interviewed for. But honestly, I'm convinced it's for the best. Yeah, it would have felt good to be forced to change, try something new, expand my resume and experience, but the flexibility I have with my current job is really priceless.
No new job, and no major. My second attempt at statistics was a failed one. And now I've come to the (pending) conclusion of changing my major altogether. To what? Not decided because I can't really make an educated decision, so an appointment with a counselor is the next move I suppose.
No new job, no major, no direction! I'm in limbo, no decisions made,just moving, not moving forward. But I guess that's better than standing still...
“If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right, you'll probably never do much of anything.”
Win Borden
So, I'm stuck at my job because I failed to get the Marriott job I interviewed for. But honestly, I'm convinced it's for the best. Yeah, it would have felt good to be forced to change, try something new, expand my resume and experience, but the flexibility I have with my current job is really priceless.
No new job, and no major. My second attempt at statistics was a failed one. And now I've come to the (pending) conclusion of changing my major altogether. To what? Not decided because I can't really make an educated decision, so an appointment with a counselor is the next move I suppose.
No new job, no major, no direction! I'm in limbo, no decisions made,just moving, not moving forward. But I guess that's better than standing still...
“If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right, you'll probably never do much of anything.”
Win Borden
Monday, April 11, 2011
Interviewin' It Up
So, I had my interview with Marriott Hotel in Burbank today. Beautiful hotel by the way. Kinda hard to get to and from, I don't really like the streets in Burbank, but that's beside the point!
First important detail to note, I DID go out and buy and outfit for this interview. I was looking through my closet and I realized I was lacking in the "big girl clothes" department.
I found the perfect outfit, too expensive, but perfect nonetheless. I recommend Express to anyone who is looking for great fitting and good quality business attire. I bought their famous "Editor Pants" in a dark gray, very nice. And I bought a cute white button up shirt (for 50$!!!!) yeah, they have a 90 day return policy... so that is definitely going back. lol :) But the pants were on sale for 25$ from 60$
So here's the top and the pants are really similar...so you get the jist of what I looked like in my interview...very important :p
Second important detail was preparing my first resume. It's harder than I thought to make yourself look good on paper, but I was bringing it into an interview rather than submitting it to GET an interview which made it less stressful. I could back my resume up with MYSELF, 'cause I'm awesome.
I tailored the resume to the job and focused on my customer service experience, since I am applying for the Front Desk Agent. I would post a link to the document but I don't know how...
Third important detail was how awesome it was to have Mandy there to take me where I needed to be. She met me when I arrived early and had texted me before hand with some tips, really made me feel more comfortable and prepared.
So I'm rockin' my outfit and I have a few copies of my new resume in hand, now the hard part!
Fourth important (most important) detail was being prepared to answer common questions. I made sure I had something to say to questions like, "Why do you want a job here?" and "What are your good qualities?" and things like that, because with those answers you can work them into anything, and it's really so easy for me to draw a blank.
Fifth important detail I've never smiled so much in my life, but I've noticed it has been well received in the past. And they really seemed to like me. I met with two women and two separate times, both went very well. They liked that I had stuck with my Starbucks job for so long, and were really pleased with the experiences I was telling them about.
I go back for a second interview in about a week or so. I just have to decide for sure that I'm going to go forward with this, because It's A LOT more hours of work fitting in with school. And Mandy said, just give me the go-ahead that you really want this and I'll talk with the director... ugh tough decisions.
I want to grow up so bad but I don't at the same time.
Bye bye free time and social life... hello Marriott?? :)
Dawn Canfield posted a great quote on my facebook wall today before my interview. Fits perfectly for the end of this post.
“Each time we face a fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.”
First important detail to note, I DID go out and buy and outfit for this interview. I was looking through my closet and I realized I was lacking in the "big girl clothes" department.
I found the perfect outfit, too expensive, but perfect nonetheless. I recommend Express to anyone who is looking for great fitting and good quality business attire. I bought their famous "Editor Pants" in a dark gray, very nice. And I bought a cute white button up shirt (for 50$!!!!) yeah, they have a 90 day return policy... so that is definitely going back. lol :) But the pants were on sale for 25$ from 60$
So here's the top and the pants are really similar...so you get the jist of what I looked like in my interview...very important :p
Second important detail was preparing my first resume. It's harder than I thought to make yourself look good on paper, but I was bringing it into an interview rather than submitting it to GET an interview which made it less stressful. I could back my resume up with MYSELF, 'cause I'm awesome.
I tailored the resume to the job and focused on my customer service experience, since I am applying for the Front Desk Agent. I would post a link to the document but I don't know how...
Third important detail was how awesome it was to have Mandy there to take me where I needed to be. She met me when I arrived early and had texted me before hand with some tips, really made me feel more comfortable and prepared.
So I'm rockin' my outfit and I have a few copies of my new resume in hand, now the hard part!
Fourth important (most important) detail was being prepared to answer common questions. I made sure I had something to say to questions like, "Why do you want a job here?" and "What are your good qualities?" and things like that, because with those answers you can work them into anything, and it's really so easy for me to draw a blank.
Fifth important detail I've never smiled so much in my life, but I've noticed it has been well received in the past. And they really seemed to like me. I met with two women and two separate times, both went very well. They liked that I had stuck with my Starbucks job for so long, and were really pleased with the experiences I was telling them about.
I go back for a second interview in about a week or so. I just have to decide for sure that I'm going to go forward with this, because It's A LOT more hours of work fitting in with school. And Mandy said, just give me the go-ahead that you really want this and I'll talk with the director... ugh tough decisions.
I want to grow up so bad but I don't at the same time.
Bye bye free time and social life... hello Marriott?? :)
Dawn Canfield posted a great quote on my facebook wall today before my interview. Fits perfectly for the end of this post.
“Each time we face a fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.”
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Change
The possibility of new things on the horizon is an equally stressful and exciting sensation. Questions such as, “Am I making the right decision?” “Will I regret making this decision?” “How do I know?” “What the hell should I do?!!” are bouncing back and forth in my head since this new job opportunity has surfaced.
I’ve worked for Starbucks for three years now. I’m comfortable to say the least. I’m good at my job, I get the hours I want and am in the midst of qualifying for health insurance in the next few months.
This past weekend I spoke with my friend Mandy who works at the Marriott in Burbank. And I mentioned how my job was waning on me. Turns out, there’s an opening as a front desk agent at her hotel. I applied yesterday, she had my application pulled by HR already and I should be receiving a call next week for an interview.
On one hand, this feels good. I feel like an adult, I’m going in a new direction, building a resume. Starbucks and the Marriott are two big names. But like most people, I Fear Change. Especially when I’m so comfortable with my current job.
Problem: I’m scared about the increase in hours, the slower pace, and completely regretting my decision to leave my job. But I don’t know if there will be another opportunity like this. If a year from now I’m ready like hell to leave Starbucks there’s a good chance there won’t be a job like this available to me.
I’m torn, waiting to find out if I’m jumping from this comfort ledge or not.
I have to put a resume together for the first time. Making myself look good on paper is harder than I thought.
Any suggestions?
Waiting for the phone call…
“Change is the essence of life.Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.”
Mandy and I @ Joe's Crab Shack in Ventura April '11
I’ve worked for Starbucks for three years now. I’m comfortable to say the least. I’m good at my job, I get the hours I want and am in the midst of qualifying for health insurance in the next few months.
This past weekend I spoke with my friend Mandy who works at the Marriott in Burbank. And I mentioned how my job was waning on me. Turns out, there’s an opening as a front desk agent at her hotel. I applied yesterday, she had my application pulled by HR already and I should be receiving a call next week for an interview.
On one hand, this feels good. I feel like an adult, I’m going in a new direction, building a resume. Starbucks and the Marriott are two big names. But like most people, I Fear Change. Especially when I’m so comfortable with my current job.
Problem: I’m scared about the increase in hours, the slower pace, and completely regretting my decision to leave my job. But I don’t know if there will be another opportunity like this. If a year from now I’m ready like hell to leave Starbucks there’s a good chance there won’t be a job like this available to me.
I’m torn, waiting to find out if I’m jumping from this comfort ledge or not.
I have to put a resume together for the first time. Making myself look good on paper is harder than I thought.
Any suggestions?
Waiting for the phone call…
“Change is the essence of life.Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.”
Monday, March 28, 2011
The Enemy
One of my basketball coaches used to gather us in a circle on a time-out, and he would tell us to look up at the clock on the scoreboard that would be frozen with our remaining time in red. He would say to us, every game, in the last few minutes, "It's not these kids that are your enemy, the clock is your enemy." I realize now (I can't remember if I got it then) what he was trying to get across. In those last minutes and seconds of the game, we had to put in all we had to do what needed to be done. Whatever we wanted to accomplish in the game, now was the time, because that was our time remaining. Whatever it takes, as long as it happens before the buzzer.
Time is the enemy; Our underlying theme, guideline, and constraint in life. All dreams, and hopes of what to accomplish are due "before I'm married," "before I have a kid," "before I'm 40," "before I die". That's our game buzzer. It's depressing, but how impossible it really is not to think about it.
Every time another Monday comes around, I get so depressed because all I can think is, "wow, another week and I still have yet to accomplish any life goals, another week, gone forever."
Because "time flies" so quickly, I'm the one that becomes discouraged, and eventually, I become an enemy myself. Death is inevitable, but only we apply the brakes or acceleration through our lives. Well, us and money.
I just wish...time would slow the hell down.
“Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't
own it, but you can use it. You can't keep
it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it
you can never get it back.”
Time is the enemy; Our underlying theme, guideline, and constraint in life. All dreams, and hopes of what to accomplish are due "before I'm married," "before I have a kid," "before I'm 40," "before I die". That's our game buzzer. It's depressing, but how impossible it really is not to think about it.
Every time another Monday comes around, I get so depressed because all I can think is, "wow, another week and I still have yet to accomplish any life goals, another week, gone forever."
Because "time flies" so quickly, I'm the one that becomes discouraged, and eventually, I become an enemy myself. Death is inevitable, but only we apply the brakes or acceleration through our lives. Well, us and money.
I just wish...time would slow the hell down.
“Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't
own it, but you can use it. You can't keep
it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it
you can never get it back.”
Sunday, March 20, 2011
The List
Ah, the sound of motivation gears in my head, inspiring my progression in adulthood.
Goals can be very positive things in life, but sometimes their failure to produce desired outcomes create a negative connotation. I want goals to work for me, not against me.
While taking a stroll around the block with my mom the other day, she inspired me with this idea, done before, but something I have not yet attempted. A list, "to do list" if you will.
The List
My Guidelines: To avoid discouragement and feeling of impossibility, this list isn't going to be extremely specific, because truthfully, deadlines can be very nerve racking. But if they are phrased correctly, and given with the best intentions, they can act as the best kind of incentive.
I hope, in the future, I'll have many different lists, whether they are just in my head, written on paper, for the future or for the day. But as for now, I'm starting on a larger scale. This list will be referred to as:
"In the Next 5 Years: 21yrs-26.5yrs"
Ideas:
(1) A different job
-This is important to me, because hopefully I will have earned my bachelors degree (my next goal) and will have moved on to a more serious (and higher paid) job.
(2) Bachelors Degree
-Ah, my current life's Everest! Yes I can do it, and more recently realized, I want it. This will open doors (or windows) to more opportunities for me.
(3) Move out on my own
- Ah yes, young adulthood's epitome of freedom. The essence of independence and the added pressure of making sure you make that dollar, and consistently (while also being able to eat.)
(4) Travel (at least) twice a year
-I don't care if it's to Santa Barbara, San Francisco, New York, or China. Any scale will do. But, I do hope I can get farther than Santa Barbara! But hey, I've never been there, so it counts.
(5) All the sentimental things
- Like, smiling more, attempting to be more care free, taking more pictures, TRYING to slow things down between each Monday (I swear, they come too fast), and most importantly, avoiding the urge to limit myself.
So, this is all for now, because its 4am, BUT every other blog or so I'm sure I'll come up with more little things, and hopefully big things. Because that's what I want, I want BIG things, don't you?
“It must be borne in mind that the tragedy of life does not lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy of life lies in having no goal to reach.”
Benjamin E. Mays
Goals can be very positive things in life, but sometimes their failure to produce desired outcomes create a negative connotation. I want goals to work for me, not against me.
While taking a stroll around the block with my mom the other day, she inspired me with this idea, done before, but something I have not yet attempted. A list, "to do list" if you will.
The List
My Guidelines: To avoid discouragement and feeling of impossibility, this list isn't going to be extremely specific, because truthfully, deadlines can be very nerve racking. But if they are phrased correctly, and given with the best intentions, they can act as the best kind of incentive.
I hope, in the future, I'll have many different lists, whether they are just in my head, written on paper, for the future or for the day. But as for now, I'm starting on a larger scale. This list will be referred to as:
"In the Next 5 Years: 21yrs-26.5yrs"
Ideas:
(1) A different job
-This is important to me, because hopefully I will have earned my bachelors degree (my next goal) and will have moved on to a more serious (and higher paid) job.
(2) Bachelors Degree
-Ah, my current life's Everest! Yes I can do it, and more recently realized, I want it. This will open doors (or windows) to more opportunities for me.
(3) Move out on my own
- Ah yes, young adulthood's epitome of freedom. The essence of independence and the added pressure of making sure you make that dollar, and consistently (while also being able to eat.)
(4) Travel (at least) twice a year
-I don't care if it's to Santa Barbara, San Francisco, New York, or China. Any scale will do. But, I do hope I can get farther than Santa Barbara! But hey, I've never been there, so it counts.
(5) All the sentimental things
- Like, smiling more, attempting to be more care free, taking more pictures, TRYING to slow things down between each Monday (I swear, they come too fast), and most importantly, avoiding the urge to limit myself.
So, this is all for now, because its 4am, BUT every other blog or so I'm sure I'll come up with more little things, and hopefully big things. Because that's what I want, I want BIG things, don't you?
“It must be borne in mind that the tragedy of life does not lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy of life lies in having no goal to reach.”
Benjamin E. Mays
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Uninsured
Figures
Slowly, but surely, I'm realizing I'm a real adult. Due to the unneeded expense, I was dropped from my parent's health insurance policy in January. Hadn't been to the doctor or had serious problems for a while before that.
February
6 hours of vomiting occurs, panic attack and spiked a fever = Emergency room.
$2400
March
(Warning Too Much Information) Urinary tract infection. Great.
Doctors visit today: Including a bill for previous treatments, the visit came out to $200
3 Months into 2011, medical bills adding up to $2600, money I don't have. Not to mention, I have two prescriptions I take monthly: anti depressants etc.
What's Next!?
End of this month I will qualify for health insurance with my job. Unfortunately there's a possibility it will take me 3 more months to enroll. Not to conform to the recent cliche, but "FML"
"Money is power, freedom, a cushion, the root of all evil, the sum of blessings." ~Carl Sandburg
Slowly, but surely, I'm realizing I'm a real adult. Due to the unneeded expense, I was dropped from my parent's health insurance policy in January. Hadn't been to the doctor or had serious problems for a while before that.
February
6 hours of vomiting occurs, panic attack and spiked a fever = Emergency room.
$2400
March
(Warning Too Much Information) Urinary tract infection. Great.
Doctors visit today: Including a bill for previous treatments, the visit came out to $200
3 Months into 2011, medical bills adding up to $2600, money I don't have. Not to mention, I have two prescriptions I take monthly: anti depressants etc.
What's Next!?
End of this month I will qualify for health insurance with my job. Unfortunately there's a possibility it will take me 3 more months to enroll. Not to conform to the recent cliche, but "FML"
"Money is power, freedom, a cushion, the root of all evil, the sum of blessings." ~Carl Sandburg
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Optimism
There's too much back story to explain.(*Reminder: revert later?)
I'm focusing on the "now", and of course, inevitably, the future. But now is really important because I constantly need to remind myself to slow down and breathe, not to mention the most fleeting part of our lives is "now."In the blink of an eye, how fast it becomes our past.
I know that's not optimistic but constant optimism isn't realistic, but actively trying to think positively seems more doable, and less annoying.
What To Do?
(1) Getting my anxiety under control
I can't move forward until I take care of this. Although it costs $300 to say "Hello" to my psychiatrist, this needs to happen. No one understands how crippling anxiety is until they've had a panic attack because they can't find a parking spot.
Sometimes medication is necessary, and I have to be OK with that.
(2)Educational Goals
Due to a recent epiphany, this part of my life is somewhat looking up. Not knowing what I want to do, and feeling like there's nothing I CAN do is so detrimental to any chance of self motivation. I'm seeing a counselor before the end of March. A business major is a possibility in the near future. (Minor is psych of course) Can't let that go to waste.
(3) Work/Money
Starbucks is flexible with hours and since I've been there 3 years its definitely reliable. I have to be OK with working there for now because it will allow me to be active in my life progress while still working and making money. But I don't want to get too comfortable, I think brainstorming where my next job experience will be is a healthy step. I need more money, I want to make more and save more. Saving is all I can do now, but in small amounts. Ah yes, and no debt please.
(4) Relationship
I can't complain, I know I'm blessed with an uncomplicated, rewarding and healthy relationship. All I can think of for improvement is managing my time and my patience. I need to remember that I need "me" time, and I need to be more patient with him. Although I know he loves me and no matter how I talk to him he always will, but it doesn't mean its right. But that goes back to the underlying problem: anxiety. So, it's in the works.
(5) Friends and F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
The older I get, the more important I realize good, quality friends are. And the best part is, I have them. I also have friends who are just great to be around sometimes, but I know I can't fall back on, which is OK too. I have to remember that I can go to them, I'm utilizing it more often more recently. I have the best friend in the world, and she knows it. But if I tell her that too often, she might get too big headed ;p. I want to be that friend too, the one people want to talk to.
Speaking of "always being there" F.R.I.E.N.D.S.: my crutch when no other is needed or available. Laughing is the best medicine, and this prescription is free. (After the 400$ i spent over the years for all 10 seasons on DVD in it's own collectors box.) Totally worth it.
My Aspiration: to overcome my anxiety, the weight that holds me back from attempting to set and achieve goals and live life to the fullest.
"It's not how hard you hit, It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward."
I'm focusing on the "now", and of course, inevitably, the future. But now is really important because I constantly need to remind myself to slow down and breathe, not to mention the most fleeting part of our lives is "now."In the blink of an eye, how fast it becomes our past.
I know that's not optimistic but constant optimism isn't realistic, but actively trying to think positively seems more doable, and less annoying.
What To Do?
(1) Getting my anxiety under control
I can't move forward until I take care of this. Although it costs $300 to say "Hello" to my psychiatrist, this needs to happen. No one understands how crippling anxiety is until they've had a panic attack because they can't find a parking spot.
Sometimes medication is necessary, and I have to be OK with that.
(2)Educational Goals
Due to a recent epiphany, this part of my life is somewhat looking up. Not knowing what I want to do, and feeling like there's nothing I CAN do is so detrimental to any chance of self motivation. I'm seeing a counselor before the end of March. A business major is a possibility in the near future. (Minor is psych of course) Can't let that go to waste.
(3) Work/Money
Starbucks is flexible with hours and since I've been there 3 years its definitely reliable. I have to be OK with working there for now because it will allow me to be active in my life progress while still working and making money. But I don't want to get too comfortable, I think brainstorming where my next job experience will be is a healthy step. I need more money, I want to make more and save more. Saving is all I can do now, but in small amounts. Ah yes, and no debt please.
(4) Relationship
I can't complain, I know I'm blessed with an uncomplicated, rewarding and healthy relationship. All I can think of for improvement is managing my time and my patience. I need to remember that I need "me" time, and I need to be more patient with him. Although I know he loves me and no matter how I talk to him he always will, but it doesn't mean its right. But that goes back to the underlying problem: anxiety. So, it's in the works.
(5) Friends and F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
The older I get, the more important I realize good, quality friends are. And the best part is, I have them. I also have friends who are just great to be around sometimes, but I know I can't fall back on, which is OK too. I have to remember that I can go to them, I'm utilizing it more often more recently. I have the best friend in the world, and she knows it. But if I tell her that too often, she might get too big headed ;p. I want to be that friend too, the one people want to talk to.
Speaking of "always being there" F.R.I.E.N.D.S.: my crutch when no other is needed or available. Laughing is the best medicine, and this prescription is free. (After the 400$ i spent over the years for all 10 seasons on DVD in it's own collectors box.) Totally worth it.
My Aspiration: to overcome my anxiety, the weight that holds me back from attempting to set and achieve goals and live life to the fullest.
"It's not how hard you hit, It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward."
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